


Baby It's Easy To Fake A Smile When You've Been Doing It For A While

by JohnEgbertPretendingToBeDaveStrider



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, My First Fanfic, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 04:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9861644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnEgbertPretendingToBeDaveStrider/pseuds/JohnEgbertPretendingToBeDaveStrider
Summary: None of us have heard from John for three weeks now. At first we just thought maybe he lost his phone or something. Maybe he dropped it in the toilet and is too embarrassed to get a new one because then he'd have to explain what happened to the old one.  Then Lalonde pointed out that he hasn't shown up to any of our meets up for a while. Even when he had his phone. But after three weeks of nothing, I think it's high time that I go check up on my best bro.Ever since I smashed my phone to pieces with that hammer, I can feel myself breaking a little bit. It started out as me being able to handle it, but after over seven years of bottling this all up, I think some of it is started to explode. Honestly, it's probably a good thing I smashed my phone. No one cares enough to check in on me anymore, that's obvious enough by now. Now, none of my friends have to interact with me and they can actually do something with their lives.





	1. Something's Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING!!! This is my very fanfic ever and my beta read is not yet in college just like me, so bare with me if the grammar seems bad or anything like that, other than that, please enjoy, and do remember to wipe your feels off the floor~

None of us have heard from John for three weeks now. At first we just thought maybe he lost his phone or something. Maybe he dropped it in the toilet and is too embarrassed to get a new one because then he'd have to explain what happened to the old one.  Then Lalonde pointed out that he hasn't shown up to any of our meets up for a while. Even when he had his phone. But after three weeks of nothing, I think it's high time that I go check up on my best bro. 

As of right now Lalonde is fully supportive of me going to check up on John. I just need to let Jade and Karkat know where I’m going then I’ll be off. Off like a knight in shining armor going to protect his princess from whatever dragons she’s facing right now.

I started packing my bag to leave for John’s last night. As of right now I’m getting some last minute packing done. Who know’s how long I’ll be there? John may need some serious help and I need to be prepared to give him my full attention. Finishing up the last of my packing, I make my way downstairs to say goodbye to Jade and Karkat, for now at least. 

I walk into our living room with my packed bag where Karkat and Jade are watching TV. As I make my way over to them their gazes rest upon me.

“Going somewhere Dave? You have a bag packed.” Jade points out curiously. 

“Can’t you tell Jade? I’m going with Jake to explore the desert that’s like a week away if you travel by flight.” I replied with. 

“Cut the horse shit Strider, where are you actually going?” Karkat interrogates. 

“I’m going to visit John. Gotta make sure he isn’t dead or something, you know?” I try to joke. Jade gives me a look of disappointment while Karkat just facepalms. 

“Okay yeah, that joke was pretty uncalled for. But I think I’ll be on my merry way to John’s house.” I say.

“Alright Dave, keep us updates on what happens!” Jade cheers.

“I’ll snap every night before bed.” I reassure. I then pick up my bag and proceed to head out the door. Originally my plan was to walk to John’s house, for ironic reasons, but with as much concern as Lalonde showed, I think I’m going to fly there. 

I take one last look at the house before I take off. As I gain altitude I look up at the sky that could only be called blue with puffy white clouds sitting in it. I look away from the sky when I spot a cloud that suspiciously looks like a smuppet.

Whist flying in the air, I notice how much everything has grown and changed. I see John’s house off in the distance, and decide that for now, I’m just going to enjoy the view. I fly over what seems to be endless foliage, it’s not a bad thing. No quite the opposite, it’s beautiful. I should fly over here more often, thousands of ideas come to mind just from looking at it. 

John’s house and the village come up way sooner than I expected. I land on the ground and start to walk up to John’s house. It looks the same as it has for the past two years. The “Happy 18th Birthday” sign still hangs over the balcony, tattered as can be. The paint on the house seems to be chipping off. The lawn however looks near perfect, must have been the nearby villagers pitching in to help keep it tidy.   

What seems to be stranger than the houses state, is the state of the village. While all the houses around John’s seems spick and span, it seems like a ghost town. The lawns are well kept, the outside of pretty much everything seems to look amazing, but not a soul dare be seen outside. 

I strided up to John’s door and knocked on it three times. I hear a crash from inside, followed by many curses. After that, silence,  he doesn’t come to open the door. So, I open it. The door creaks open. What I find inside shocks me.

 

* * *

  
  


Ever since I smashed my phone to pieces with that hammer, I can feel myself breaking a little bit. It started out as me being able to handle it, but after over seven years of bottling this all up, I think some of it is started to explode. Honestly, it's probably a good thing I smashed my phone. No one cares enough to check in on me anymore, that's obvious enough by now. Now, none of my friends have to interact with me and they can actually do something with their lives. 

My 20th birthday party to say the least, was depressing. No one showed up, and to make matters worse, I had finally gotten the guts to cut off my only way of communication with my friends. I mean I could use my laptop, but now a days no one is logged into pesterchum. I could also just go out and buy a new phone, but most days I can’t find the motivation to do much of anything. I’m surprised that I even remember to eat at least one meal a day. But it’s better this way. None of my friends have to deal with me getting in the way of their actual lives. 

I’ve seen the snaps, all my friends have done amazing things so far. They’re doing great things with their new lives, and then there’s me. I’m still not quite sure what to do. 

I hear a knock on the door. They were two, sharp knocks. I force myself up and go to the door to open. Nobody was in front of the door, but their was a package there. I pick up the yellow package and take it inside. Setting the package on the coffee table, I go to the kitchen to get a knife to cut through the tape on the box. 

Coming back into the living room, I sit down on the couch right in front of the coffee table. Wondering what’s in the box and who sent me the box, I cut open the tape. Putting the knife to the side on the coffee table, I proceed to open up the flaps of the box. At the very top of the box there is an envelop. Curious, I open the the envelope and take out the note inside of it. The note it self reads:

 

Dear John,

 

We are aware that we are a bit late, but we got you a birthday present nonetheless. We sincerely hope you enjoy it as we all worked hard on making it. 

 

With Care,

 

Your Neighbors

 

Surprised, I start to cautiously dig into the box, removing tissue paper and tossing it carelessly to the floor. The first thing I notice after all the tissue paper is removed, is the object wrapped in bubble wrap. Carefully unwrapping the bubble wrap, gotta save that for later, I inspect the object. It’s a white vase with a blue flower pattern and a gold ring around the top of it. I put it the vase on the night stand that I put next to my couch about five days ago. Looking at the bottom of the box, I see a dozen fake red roses. Smiling, I put the fake flowers in the vase. At least someone got me something for my birthday. 

I stand up and stretch, looking around the room. I tried to keep the house the exact same as Dad always did. I’ve kept it very nice and clean, and even though the game is over I still haven’t touched Dad’s room. This vase may be the first thing that really makes the house my own. Is that a good thing or a bad thing I wonder.  

Feeling as though I’ve done all that I can manage today, start to spread out on the couch. Suddenly, there are three knocks on my door. In my slight state of panic from the sudden loud noise, I accidentally punch the vase onto the floor, shattering it. Cuses flow from my lips, then I’m horrified. What will the neighbors think, seeing their gift all broken on the floor? 

Disgusted with myself I rush upstairs to my room. I hurry in, closing the door behind me, before plopping down on my bed. I hear my door open. I immediately know that this isn’t one of my neighbors because none of them would dare open my door without permission. I hear a gasp from downstairs and I already know that I’m most likely in deep shit. How deep however depends on who opened that door.


	2. The Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave arrives, questions are asked, John is hiding something, but what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for everyone who's read this so far~ Really warms my heart every time I see the hits go up or get a kudos~ And thank you to my lovely beta reader for actually catching many of my mistakes, other wise this would be complete unreadable garbage, <3

Upon opening the door a gasp escapes me. I step in, close the door behind me and look at the state of the house. Other than the broken shards of what seems to be glass on the floor, a dozen roses on top of the shattered glass, tissue paper thrown about,an open box and a knife next to it on the coffee table, the house seems to be spotless. If it weren’t for that mess it could have fooled me that no one was living here. 

Carefully making my way around the glass mess, I make my way to the kitchen. It seems like it hasn’t been used in ages, and yet, it’s still as clean as ever. Seeing as there's no John in here, I start to make my way back out of the kitchen, but something in the trash can catches my eye. 

Walking over to the trash can, I look inside, at the shiny pieces of metal that caught my eye. After several minutes of just looking at it, I realize, this is John’s phone, in pieces, just sitting in the trash can. I stand there in shock for a moment, trying to figure out why John would do this. It’s just so… un-John like. He’s always so eager to talk to us, what would make him want to cut off one of his only ways of communication with us? 

Seeing as I’ve wasted enough time in the kitchen, I make my way out and towards the office I guess is what you’d call it. I see the piano in the corner of the room with a layer of dust on the keys. Seems like Egbert hasn’t played it for a while. The rest of the room however seems spotless. Sense there’s no John there either, I make my way out of the room and towards the stairs. 

The third place I would think to check is his room. I make my way up the stairs, noticing that the third stair creaks, and stand at the top looking down the hall. It as did the rest of the house, it seemed untouched, spotless. I go up to John’s door and open it. 

The first thing I notice is all the movie posters in the room. Sure you have your old ones, but then there’s the one’s from the new universe. I shift my gaze to rest upon John’s bed where he seems to be staring at me in awe. 

“Sup?” I ask breaking the silence. John seems surprised for a moment, then responds. 

“Hey Dave, what are you doing here?” John inquires. 

“Well a certain someone hasn’t responded to any of his friends for weeks. Kind of like Harry Potter when his owl got taken away for the summer and he could respond to any of his friends. And then the Weasley’s came by to save Harry, much like how I’m now here to see you.” I explain. John giggles a little. 

“Dave Weasley, now I can’t stop imagining you with ginger hair.” John cackles out, falling back onto his bed. John then pops back up. “That’d make for an amazing prank! Or a great halloween costume!” John exclaims. I just put up a hand.

“Egderp I don’t think you understand, a Strider’s hair is sacred. You can’t just dye that shit for a prank. That’d be like starting World War IV. I can see the question in your eyes, why World War IV? Why not World War III? Well the explanation is simple, World War III happened the last time someone fucked with a Strider’s hair. How many casualties were there? Well I can’t really say Egbert, but I’ll tell you what. Strider’s won that war, and we’ll win the next one.” I ramble. 

“That sounds like a challenge to me. Besides, I could totally take on a Strider!” John claims. 

“Is that so?” I challenge. 

“Oh yes, victory would be so far out of your reach that you’d feel like Germany after world war one.” John remarks. I gasp in mock horror.

“Well it’s too bad that neither of us will ever live to see that day Egbert. After all, we’re in a time of peace right now.” I state. 

“Very true Strider, it’d be a shame if someone were to break it.” John teases.

“Well John, I may as well say why I actually came here since we’ve had enough bull shit in between.” I reply. 

“Oh? Well pray tell Dave, why did you come here?” John asks.

“Well first answer my question, why did you smash your phone to bits?” I questioned. I could have sworn that at that point the room frozen over with tension.

 

* * *

 

I froze on the spot at Dave’s question. I kept on opening my mouth to tell a lie, then closed it soon after as no sound came out. It was then that I made a decision. It’ probably a mistake but it’s probably the only way I’ll be able to get any sound out. I was going to tell Dave the truth.

“Well, you know Calliope’s brother?” I ask. Dave nods. “Well, he got snapchat and snapped me trying to start a fight. It was obviously his past self as Gamzee was also there with him. But uh, it ended with me smashing my phone with a hammer.” I explained. Dave looked at me for a second, then shook his head.

“Bro you do know that there’s such a thing as a block button right?” Dave joked. 

“I just wasn’t thinking right then! The hammer was in my hand and I was mad and, well, it just happened.” I admitted. 

“Well that’s obvious.” Dave deadpans. “Just so you know, I’ll be staying here for a week or so.” Dave comments casually. I freak out a little on the inside. What if he notices that there’s more things wrong with me?

“But Dave, don’t you have a kingdom to run?” I question. 

“I could say the same to you. But I trust that Harley and salty bitch ankles, I mean Karkat, can handle a week without me. After all one person can only handle so much Strider at a time.” Dave explains. “Though I do have some more questions for you.” Dave continues.

“Hit me.” I say.

“How come you never got a new phone? Or busted out the old computer?” Dave asks. 

“I was busy keeping up with the village and working on a new piano piece.” I lie. I haven’t touched my piano in months. I feel a bit neglectful, maybe I’ll try to play it more, after Dave leaves of course. Dave sees right through my lie.

“Dude I checked the room your piano lays in. The thing is caked with dust, now how about you tell me the truth?” Dave requests. I swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. 

“There’s no place around here to get a phone.” I try to lie again.

“Bullshit I know for a fact Egbert that there’s a store around here that sells phones. Try again.” Dave replies. I sigh knowing there’s no way I could lie my way around this one.

“I haven’t really found the motivation to go out and get a new phone. Besides, it seems like you guys could use a break from me, that’s the reason why no one showed up to my 20th birthday, right?” My voice cracked on that last word as I looked at my floor. Suddenly I feel myself get enveloped with warmth. I look up to see that Dave is… hugging me? I wrap my arms around him immediately in return. 

“I’m so sorry John. I should have shown up, I know I should have.” I apologizes. 

“It’s okay Dave, I understand. After all, my birthday at this point seems unimportant you know?” I respond with.

“What would make you think your birthday is unimportant?” Dave demands.

“Well, at this point it just seems to be a reminder of the game. Plus even I forgot my birthday until I saw my sign. Can’t be that important if I of all people forgot, right?” I tried to reason. Dave pulled away from me, making me frown yearning for Dave’s warmth to be back. 

“John look at me, your birthday is a very important day. Not only does it mark your birth but it also marks the day the game ended, the day we created our new universe.” Dave reassures. I just nod to what Dave said.

“Oh I just realised, Dave if you’re staying with me, where are you going to sleep?” I try to change the topic. Dave seems to get that I want to change the topic and goes along with me.

“Well I could sleep on your couch downstairs, or we could just share your bed?” Dave suggests. 

“Oh yeah! That’d be fine, we could totally share a bed!” I fastly cheer. Another chance to be by that Strider warmth yes please. 

“Alright, I’m going to get settled in.” Dave says before stepping out of my bedroom into the bathroom. 

“Okay, I’m going to go clean up my mess downstairs!” I call out before starting my trek downstairs. How am I going to survive this week? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay it may seem like this chapter came out really fast but I say it's cuz I actually finished my homework and don't have robotics for the rest of the week *cheers* so ya know, I'll try to get my chapters up ASAP <3 -Ruby


	3. Shopping and Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Dave go shopping for food and make jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who have read this! <3 I'm trying really hard with this but sometimes I just can't, #thankyoumybetareaderIloveyou I hope you enjoy~

I jolt awake from my slumber, startled when I feel an arm around my waist. I relax when I realize that it’s just Dave. I snuggle up closer to the warmth that is Dave, close my eyes, and just try to enjoy myself.  After a while of just laying there, Dave begins to stir. He pulls his arm away from me, causing me to open my eyes. Dave turns over to face me, keeping his eyes closed.

“Morning sleepy beauty.” Dave slightly slurs. 

“Good morning my fair knight, what shall we do today?” I inquire. 

“Oh I dunno, I think first we need to conquer breakfast, then we can decide on what else we do today.” Dave sleepily replies with. 

“Good plan, but uh, I’m not sure if I have anymore food in my fridge?” I sheepishly admit. Dave gives me a look of surprise. 

“When was the last time you bought food?” Dave asked.

“About a week or two ago? I mean I'm out now so we should probably go buy some.” I reasoned. 

“Well that answers the question of what we’re doing today. We’re going shopping Egderp.” Dave declares. 

“Do we even have enou-” I start

“Shopping Egderp, I’ll pay for you.” Dave cuts me off. I try to rebuttal, but Dave stops me before I can even try. 

“A man must always pay for the lady.” Dave jokes while turning away from me to put on his shades.

“Dude I am not the woman in this relationship, I obviously wear the pants.” I retort. Turning back to me, Dave responds with,

“Yes, you wear the pants underneath your skirt. Don’t even deny it babe, you know it’s true.” Dave turns back to me. 

“Dave why do you wear your shades around me? I already know your eyes are red.” I say since I can’t think of a good comeback as of right now. 

“Well we’re going somewhere today, can’t have the people freaking out about the red eyed creator do we?” Dave asks rhetorically. 

“I mean when we’re alone Dave, why do you wear them?” I ask.

“Oh, I guess I’m just used to always wearing them. If you want I could wear them less when it’s just you and me?” Dave suggests. I nod excitedly. 

“Your eyes are so cool!” I exclaim. It seems as though Dave is left speechless. I laughed a little bit and jump out of my bed to the dresser. As I dig through my dresser I hear movement behind me. Assuming that it’s just Dave going to get his clothes and get changed, I continue rummaging through my dresser. Suddenly I feel arms around me and a head on my shoulder. 

“I don’t think I packed enough clothes for a week, is it okay if I borrow some of your occasionally? That is assuming that they’d actually fit me.” Dave whispers in my ear. I just nod dumbly. Dave chuckles before stepping away from me and ruffling my hair and heading to the bathroom. I’m paused for a moment, before I just decide fuck it and pull out a random shirt and shorts. 

When I meet Dave in the hallway he kind of chuckles at me. I look at him confused. 

“What’s so funny?” I ask him. 

“Bro go look at what you’re wearing.” Dave snickers. Confused I look down, and then I realise what I did. I feel my face flush with embarrassment. I rush into my room and shut the door behind me so I can change.

 

* * *

  
  


John was wearing a skirt, a skirt. I hear a muffled ‘Shut up Dave!’ from behind his door. Soon his door opens once more and he’s wearing pants. 

“So uh, any particular reason you have a skirt Egbert? I’m not judging or anything, just curious.” I ask. 

“Well, it was during my three years. We got bored Dave. One of those days we happened to be trying on each others clothes. Jade had this black skirt that was too small on her, and she let me keep it. I haven’t worn that thing in forever.” John admits. 

“Well it looks nice on you, now come on John we have some shopping to do.” I say practically pulling John down the stairs.

 

* * *

  
  


“I’m glad that chocolate is a constant in our universe.” John sighs in relief as he adds a Snickers to our kart. 

“Dude we’re almost out of check out, and you add on a Snickers bar to our purchase?” I tease. 

“Oh yes because we are going to go bankrupt because of this one Snickers bar.” John remarks sarcastically. 

“It’s already been scanned John, we’re all ready in bankruptcy because of that Snickers bar John. You’ve doomed us for the rest of our lives, I’m going to have to become a stripper to get us money. But then you’ll probably think I’m cheating on you because I’ll always smell of sex and then we’ll get a divorce, and then our child will have to decide on which parent to go with, all because you got a Snickers bar this fateful day.” I rambled. John just shook his head and lightly hit me in the back of the head.

“You really think you could make us enough money to survive by being a stripper?” John asks me. 

“Have you seen this body Egbert? If I became a stripper we could make your little village roads out of gold.” I reply. John starts grabbing bags filled with our food while I pay.

“Fair enough, you are pretty good looking.” John says absentmindedly.

“Only pretty good? I think the words you’re looking for are down right sexy.” I say as I grab the last of the bags. We start to walk out of the store.

“Oh yes, Dave Strider, the sexiest piece of ass to ever sexy. Lucky me, he’s staying with me for a whole week, take me now, take me now in a manly fashion.” John jokes. 

“See John? With comments like that, we could be billionaires in no time. But I won’t become a stripper since it’ll end in divorce, just for you.” I say. 

In no time, we arrived back at John’s house.  Opening the door, since I have the least amount of bags, I make my way to the kitchen. Setting the bags down I hear the door shut, shortly after John appears in the kitchen. 

“Want me to help with some of those?” I ask.

“No I want you to sit there on your ass and look pretty.” John replies sarcastically. 

“Don’t mind if I do.” I say as I help John put the food away. 

After putting all the food away, John looks at me with a smile on his face.

“Wanna watch a movie?” 

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to update this as soon as I can but bare with me, I'm a high school student that's in robotics, that being said I'm usually busy because of robotics but this will get updated for my girlfriend loves this story~ <3 -Ruby


End file.
